Hi, everyone, hope you’re all doing great.
I’m in need of a few beta readers to help me find flaws and strengthen my current WIP story. I’ve edited it several times, and it should read well from a grammatical and spelling perspective.
I can provide a copy via MS Word, or PDF if you prefer.
There is some violence, and mature material (sensual more than sexual, as hopefully appropriate for YA).
Hofen, a young peacekeeper apprentice, journeys toward manhood on a world locked into a moralistic, guild-based society. Along the way, he faces a boy’s toughest challenges: bullies, hardcore training—and forbidden love. Babette is the first female peacekeeper on Bellisprodus, but that means she’s his guildsister, not girlfriend. To maintain his loyalty to the guild, Hofen must put any romantic thoughts from his mind. Only, Babette isn’t quite sure she wants him to.
Faced with a growing desire to have both his guild family and Babette, Hofen struggles to fit into a world more complicated and unfair than it should be. But if he wants to make it to journeyman and have a hand in fixing things someday, including avenging his murdered father, Hofen will need to complete his arduous training—and reconcile his love for a girl, and the unopposable mandates of his guild.
First and foremost, thank you for your consideration. If you’d like to receive the manuscript, I’d really appreciate your help.
1. Start at the beginning. Read through to the end. If at any time you reach a point where you don’t feel like resuming, please stop, and let me know where this happened, and in a few sentences explain why.
2. Feel free to make notations inline, in red alongside the sentences you are referring to, or whatever makes you happy. If you need a PDF, just mark up a text document with the page # and your comments.
3. At a minimum, I’d appreciate a paragraph or two after each chapter letting me know your thoughts about the chapter. Did anything confuse you? Did you notice and mistakes or continuity problems? Was anything missing, or was there too much?
4. At the end of the story, write up an overall assessment. More is better, but whatever you can manage is helpful. Did you enjoy the story, why or why not? How could it be improved? Did the overall plot fall short of satisfaction?
If you have time and inclination, this would be extremely helpful. Tell me about the characters. Did they feel real to you, why or why not? Do any need better fleshing out? Did you like or dislike them? What recommendations could you make for improvement?
Tell me about the setting. Did the world feel real to you? Too unclear? Where and how could it be improved. Did it become clear where this story takes place, and the surrounding rules that govern this world? What would make the setting better in your opinion?
Tell me about the plot(s). Did they maintain your interest? Did anything bore you or should be cut out to make a cleaner story? Did anything confuse you? Do you see where the story is heading? Are there things you want to know that haven’t been revealed in this first book, but would read the second book to find out?
Anything else you can offer to help me make this as amazing as possible! I have a thick skin, so don’t worry about hurting my feelings. Its more important I get this as close to perfect as possible.
Feel free to ask any questions you’d like, if you aren’t 100% sure this is right for you.
Feel free to reply here, or email me directly at firstname.lastname@example.org